If I want a rock band, I'll buy a Playstation

Most awesome overheard cell phone conversation ever, spoken by the guy walking behind me in the library parking lot today:

"If you're such a Christian, why are you badmouthing people? Why are you being such a brat? You're supposed to be a big Christian and all you're doing is running your mouth about people. If you're such a Christian, why do you watch Desperate Housewives? Why do you watch Grey's Anatomy? Why are you having premarital sex? Because you're just like most Christians: you're full of it. 'Ooooh, come to my church, we have a rock band and a coffee bar!' If I want coffee, I'll go to Starbucks. Is this a church or a social event? You people are so full of it. I don't need God; I have a Harvard education."

Agree or disagree with his points, it was still hilarious.

A full year late

Well, I don't have much to say except that my graduation process is, at long last, in full swing. I have registered for, set up, and paid for my practicum. I have filled out my graduation application, which is due by Friday (thanks Erica!). I haven't mailed it yet, but I am hoping I can fax it from work. If not I will mail it on Wednesday, and then all I'll have to do is my actual practicum, which starts on Thursday. It looks like I may get a degree after all. I'm sure I would have made a good Pizza Hut employee/stripper (the only two careers you can have if you drop out of library school), but I'm gonna stick with this for a while and see where it takes me.

And our star shines like a miracle

Happy new year!

Well I rang in '08 last night with a bunch of awesome people and the perfect amount of liquor (silly-drunk earlier on but sobered up by bedtime). It really was the perfect end to a year that has been quite good to me, and it hopefully set the pace for a year that will be even better. I am looking forward to a couple of vacations this year and to moving in with Bill at the end of the summer, and aside from that all I can hope is that I get to spend as much time as possible with the people who make me laugh until I [insert embarrassing noise here].

Here are my top five highlights of 2007:

5. Getting Promoted - I was afraid it would never happen, but I did in fact get a promotion, and I'm much happier now than I was in my old position. Now I can look forward to my next new job, which will hopefully be post-graduation in May.

4. Feist Concert - I had a blast at this show, that's really all there is to it.

3. The Birthday Party - My mom: "Your birthday party?" Me: "No, mom, THE birthday party." I got momentously tipsy, got cake smashed all over me, and danced till I was literally red in the face. It was quite a celebration for my two favorite Fucking Birthday Twins of all time.

2. Nickel Creek Concert - I had waited forever to see Nickel Creek live, and I finally got my chance this summer at their Farewell for Now Tour (basically the See Us Now Or Live With The Regret Forever tour). I had second-row seats (OMG!!1!) and somehow, miraculously, it didn't thunderstorm on us despite the bajillion degree weather with like 100% humidity. It was quite the evening, and the first thing I have ever gotten to cross off my "to do before I die" list. Yay!

1. San Diego Trip - San Diego was a great place to visit. We managed to squeeze in SO many activities and restaurants, and the weather was amazing. I was stoked to get to spend so many days hanging out with Bill, and I felt like we were super grown-up flying across the country by ourselves and renting our own car and whatnot. Not to mention flying out on the cheap thanks to Skybus. The whole thing was just absolutely perfect, I don't even know what to say.

So there's my list. There were a million other great moments of course, and I'm thankful for all of them. I honestly have NO idea what 2008 has in store for me or where I will be a year from now. I hope that I'm happy, and I hope that you are too. Thanks for hangin' with me.

Boredy boredness

Um, hi!

This is going to be pointless because I'm just doing it to kill time. But hey. It's a frigging blog. Pointless is the name of the game.

Well let's see. Earlier this week I got to work the reference desk solo for an entire hour; that was the first time I've ever been scheduled for an official reference hour. And it was sweet. I think I answered everybody's questions successfully. It was funny because I always say that I know how to use the "official" sources and answer the scholarly questions but that if somebody wants a bus schedule I'm stumped. Well guess what my first question was: "I live up on 161 and my girlfriend works down on Neil and we don't have a car..." Damn! The one time I tried to take a bus, I ended up walking 4 miles from Bill's apartment to Red White and Boom. But, you know, a trip to the COTA site and repeated disclaimers that "I really don't know anything about how the bus system works" and the guy left happy and grateful for my help.

I hope it's not TOO horribly long before I get to get an actual, adult-type job (like, not five years hopefully). I know that I shouldn't complain about work, and things are a lot better than they have been at other times, but still. It gets so, so tedious put things in alphabetical order for hours and hours on end. Sometimes if I'm working and I think "I'm shelving reserves this hour, and next hour I will be pulling off old reserves, and then the hour after that I have to shelve a couple of carts..." it's just like...I just want to lay down on the floor and stop. Other people don't mind and can do work like that day in and day out, but I don't know. I guess I would like something more challenging, something more creative.

I made cookies just now, from this pre-made dough that my mom bought from one of her kids. They turned out kind of weird but they taste pretty good.

Are you looking forward to Christmas? It still seems kind of far off to me, even though I know it is not. I would like to go see Wildlights and do a couple of other Christmasey type things but I think I may end up being too busy for any of that. I hope not!

It goes down easy

HEY KIDS!

Well I had a kick-ass weekend. Friday I really did nothing during the day, which was awesome. Then later that night was my Chasegiving/Quarterlife Crisis party. It started out kind of lame-ish due to a bad bar/restaurant selection on my part, but it was still a good time and it was much less stressful once we got the hell out of Stripperton. It was really good to hang out with everybody...thanks a lot to those who came, and thanks for the cards/gifts/free food/free drinks as well. Y'all rock it out.

Saturday Bill and I kind of just hung out and watched the game and stuff, then in the evening we went to Pei Wei for dinner (which I LOVE) with Becky, Dan, Jared, and Erica. Then it was over to Casa Jamerica with the above crew (sub Miranda for Becky) for games, gossip, and campfire s'mores. I had forgotten how good real s'mores are. Saturday was really a perfect blend of relaxation and casual fun.

Sunday was busier; I was running late in the morning, but Erica and I still hit up the Tiny Canary indie craft show in Grandview. I actually almost hate going to those things because I want to spend more money than I have, and also because I feel bad chatting with the vendors and then not buying anything from them; sometimes I really love their stuff but it's just out of my price range or not practical for me or whatever. If anyone is shopping for art I would like to suggest Yumi Yumi, who Erica and I are totally retarded-fangirl over. Erica also bought me a birthday t-shirt which I just now remembered to try on (it fits!). After that we clothes-shopped at Target and met up with my mom for dinner at Cap City--delicious. I then hauled ass to get to Bill's so we wouldn't be late for the Feist concert, which gets its own paragraph.

Boys and girls, the Feist concert was amazing. I probably need to get out more, but I will say that it was probably the best concert I've ever been to. We were like in the third row at the Wex's Mershon Auditorium. Jason Collett opened up, and he was great. During one song Bill and I both went through the same thought process of figuring out that his drummer was a girl and then, eventually, that it was Leslie Feist herself. I mean, we couldn't see her face, we're not that dumb. Feist came out and started the show with When I Was A Young Girl, which is a.) my favorite song of hers EVAR and b.) even more totally amazing in concert. I can't even describe the whole thing, I realize that, but just trust me that the concert was at all times both totally cracked out and perfectly perfect. At one point Feist asked for a certain girl in the audience, and then the girl's boyfriend proposed to her. She said yes, everyone cheered, and the band played Sarah Harmer's "Open Window." It was so strange and exciting. I've never seen anything like that happen before. I could go on and on, and really I think I already have.

Today was back to work as usual, but that's OK. It will be a nice 4-day week, and I still have my actual birthday and Thanksgiving to look forward to. I hope you all had equally wonderful weekends, or will soon.

Reading is sexy

Oh man, I don't think I ever posted this. Let me say that this is 100% real and that I actually saved it from Amazon:



Ignoring the fact that this makes it look like I was shopping for crotchless French knickers (I wasn't, I promise), I find this unbelievably hilarious. I mean, really? 6% of the people on Amazon who were searching for racy lingerie were like, "Mmm, nah. I'll just get a copy of Harry Potter instead." Maybe they meant to search for Hairy Pooter. Eww, sorry.

This is not how I imagined my life

Sometimes, at my job, someone will come up to me and let me know that something is amiss in one of the public restrooms. About half the time it's not too bad: out of toilet paper, somebody left something in there, needs air freshener, etc. The other half of the time you're stuck dealing with a clog or an overflowing urinal or the like. The bad news is that there is no designated person to clean up these messes; if you're the one who gets informed of it, you're the one who gets to deal with it.

Today, just after lunch, I got notified by a customer that there was a "situation" in the women's handicap stall and that it was "disgusting." I trudged out there and opened the stall door only to be confronted by a literal shitstorm: a swirling cloud of diarrhea filling the bowl to the absolute top, with a clod of bloody toilet paper floating in the middle like an eye. This was not something that I wanted to deal with, and, more importantly, I wasn't sure how to deal with it. A plunger was my first thought, but I worried about breaking the delicate poo meniscus and trapping myself under a waterfall of excrement. I thought about digging around in there with a straightened-out hanger the way my mom taught us to do when we'd gotten a little Charmin-happy at home, but rooting around in feces when the library doesn't even provide me with health insurance just felt like an over-extension. The longer I stared (why couldn't I stop staring?), the less I could think of anything to do.

Now, people I work with are usually totally gung-ho about these kinds of things; I myself have picked up all manor of unsavory objects and even mopped up pee from the mens' room. I understand that we all need to do our part, but something about that gloppy, choleral toilet bowl was just too much for me. I felt bad. Does not wanting to clean up a strangers diarrhea make me stuck-up? Is this what I'm going to have to deal with for the rest of my life if I stay in this profession? Was the woman who reported the mess also the perpetrator? I may never know, because in the end, I did what I'd really wanted to do all along: I slapped up an "out of order" sign and taped the stall door shut.

Spoiler-free, don't worry

So. I just watched 28 Weeks Later. And I am disturbed. I'm a big fan of the first movie, and while I didn't find either one particularly scary in your typical scary movie way, 28 Weeks Later was almost too disturbing, disgusting, terrifying, and sad. There were, somehow, a few bright spots in the first one, but this one is just so bleak. You don't normally describe a zombie* movie as "realistic," but the infection, quarantines, military presence, rebuilding...it all just seems way too possible. I almost felt sick after watching it.

I mean, it's a good movie though. You should get it.

(*I know they're not technically zombies, but you follow me.)

I could go for a slice of pie

Hey kittens!

What has the Chaser been up to lately, you've been asking yourselves. Well, not much I'm afraid.

The good news is that I got a promotion at work which as been pretty sweet. I already knew how to do most of my job duties, so it's kind of like I'm just getting extra money without having to learn new things or do much more work. I like my new schedule, and I'll like my new paycheck when I get one (I mean, it's still pathetically small, but, like, less pathetically small than before). I'm going to the pumpkin show this weekend, which is always fun (read: delicious). I'm hoping to do some other Halloween things, like a haunted house or maybe even something cheesey like a hayride, but I'm worried that might not happen. I'm also thinking about planning some sort of birthday event on Nov 16, but I always change my mind on that. What do you think? Drinking for the big two-five?

The bad...meh. Nothing too bad. I feel like I haven't been seeing my friends at all. I missed out on all the $10 fares to Florida today, even though they released them at like 4 a.m. and I was up and on the website before 11. I also missed a last minute opportunity to go to the Wilco concert tonight. Lincoln and I both still have whatever messed up thing is making us itch, and I am skeptical that we're ever going to find out what it is.

The ugly: your face. OH SNAP!

I'm gonna try to be more interesting on here, I swear. That's like the bullshit blogger's mantra though, so we'll see what happens.

You want it.

This is hot. Hot! The big plug on my hair dryer is like my number one problem in life.

Content-free update

Erm...hey y'all. Been a while. Here's what happened: I had plans to do a big San Diego blog in order to bore everybody with the minute details of our vacation. I kept putting it off though, because I ended up telling those details to so many people in the days after the trip that I was actually boring myself. But I didn't want to blog anything else before I did the SD blog, because it seemed like it would be dumb then do go back and do it. I think it's become clear though that it's not happening at this point. In short, it was incredibly fun, we ate lots of good food and wore ourselves out seeing just about everything there is to see in San Diego. Here are my photos if you're interested and haven't seen them yet.

I haven't been up to much else since I last blogged, I'm sure. I'm hoping for a promotion at work but starting to think they might leave the job posted forever instead of giving it to anybody. I tried the Friday flavors at Pink Moon (new favorite: coconut). I've been watching a lot of 30 Rock. Finally found some dress pants that fit. Still itchy. You know me. Hopefully I'll be writing here more often; contain your excitement, kittens.

Can't Complain

Last night (Tuesday) I went to my first Nickel Creek concert at the LC Pavilion down in Columbus. There have been at least 2 other NC concerts over the past few years that I have intended to go to but missed; for the first one I couldn't find anyone to go with, and for the second I was having my first night of one of my first grad school classes at the same time as the concert. (If it had been later, clearly I would have bailed on library school in a heartbeat in favor of an awesome concert. Live and learn.)

Anyway, last night's concert was pretty much perfect. It was unbearably hot and humid all day (heat index in the low 100s) and threatened to storm, but when the concert started a strong breeze kicked up and not one drop of rain came down the whole time. The music was great. They played several of my favorite songs and did a couple of things that were new to me. One of the highlights was the hilarious "If You're Gonna Leave Me (Set Me Up With One of Your Friends)," including sweet lines like "Who'm I gonna take to the Grammys? Who'm I gonna make out with when I win? If you're gonna leave me, set me up with one of your friends." My other favorite moment was when the bassist clogged/tap-danced as percussion during one of the songs. That was awesome. Even the parts of the concert with Fiona Apple were really good. I hadn't listened to any of her music in a LONG time, so I didn't know most of her songs, but they did some great covers and a bluegrass version of Criminal. Nickel Creek was onstage playing during Fiona's parts of the concert, so I really couldn't have asked for more.

The only con, I think, was that people kept randomly screaming for Fiona. It seemed like there were a good number of people there just to see her, and a few of those people were kind of disrespectful to Nickel Creek. That got on my nerves because A.) it was pretty clear to me that it was mostly an NC concert with Fiona as a special guest, and B.) don't be rude, assholes.

Finally, I got some pretty good pictures since we were in the second row (SECOND ROW!!). They're not perfect since obviously it was dark and my camera's kind of a POS, but you get the idea. Check 'em out: concert pics.

My life is confusing

Today I was at work and a little girl (7 years old?) came up to me and said that she wanted to sign up for the kids' computers (this just involves writing your name on a sign-up sheet). I picked up the clipboard and asked her what her name was, so I could write it down. She said something along the lines of Devon ("duh-VAWN"), so I asked her how to spell it. She just kind of looked blankly at me, but it seemed like maybe she was reaching for the pencil, so I thought that perhaps she could write her name but was not sure how to spell it out loud.

I handed her the pencil and the clipboard; she hesitated for a minute, then proceeded to write in the 1:30 slot, in perfect neat handwriting, the word "butter." She then put the clipboard down and walked off to wait for her turn on the computer.

"Butter."

???

07-18-06

I remember a summer's day
I remember walking up to you
I remember my face turned red
And I remember staring at my feet
I remember before we met
I remember sitting next to you
And I remember pretending I wasn't looking...

-Yo La Tengo, "Our Way To Fall"

And I didn't speeyak, either!

So, this past weekend was rad. Friday night I went out with Bill and Dan to BW's, and Dan bought my drinks (BFF!). Saturday I ran some errands, and then it was party time! I had so much fun. I think I hung out with just about everybody at one point or another. The best parts were dancing, getting caked, and really just talking to people who had never seen me that drunk before (so, uh, pretty much everybody at the party). I just remember it being really hot and dark and fun in there; in my mind the night was one huge blur of faces and hysterical laughing. I know I had to get a knife taken away from me by 3 different people. I know I danced in ways that would embarrass me under other circumstances. I know I gave out insight into the female mind and that I laid in a big pile of dirt outside. I know that Bill, even when 90% passed out, is still able to construct the word "worrycakes" to describe me. I know I had fun. Other than that, you might have to refresh my memory.

I did notice that there are 2 things I tend to say over and over when I'm drunk. One is "Hey! Are we friends?!" This might seem logical at a party where I don't know some of the people that well, but I like to say it to people who I clearly am friends with; I mean, I remember saying it to Jared at least twice. The other thing is "You know what I like about you?" followed by a super random thing that I like about that person (see "You have freckles on your forearms!" and "You're exactly five feet tall! That is so great!" as examples). Man oh man. Even sober that sounds funny to me, but my mom has suggested that what I find funny might be really obnoxious to everybody else. If that is the case I apologize.

Anyway, I had a good time. I just wish I didn't have to work so many hours this week, cuz I could really use about 30 straight hours of sleep.

Pink moon gonna get you all

So. A lot has happened since I last wrote anything here. I meant to blog about finding a turtle in the woods. I meant to blog about falling off my bike at Hoover Dam and Bill almost crapping his pants as, shortly thereafter, I had what could have only been perceived at the time as a small seizure. I should blog about the fun things I've been doing lately, like Wicked and Red White and Boom.

But instead, I am going to blog about this: http://www.pinkmooncupcakes.com/

OMG OMG!!!1!ONEZORS!!! I am SO excited to try this place. Seriously, an all-cupcake bakery is like my dream come true. Looking at their website, I actually wondered if it would be a good move to try to get a job there, leave the library world, and spend the rest of my life making and selling cupcakes. I don't know what would make me happier than that; I know that sounds crazy, but I kind of mean it.

Unemploymentcakes

So, I didn't get that job that I interviewed for. I'm not surprised that I didn't get it, even though there is no actual REASON for me not to have gotten it. For the record they did actually email me last Thursday to let me know; I just didn't get it until today because they sent it to the email address marked on my application as "HEY SRSLY DON'T EMAIL ME HERE NOT MY ADDRESS OMG DON'T USE 4 CEREALZ!!!1!" Nice work.

I was excited for a minute because there's now a full-time position open at my current job, and I thought I was a total shoo-in. Today I came to my senses and realized that someone else is totally getting the job. Ugh. I know that I have to apply for it anyway, and I should at least get to interview for it, but that just makes it all the more irritating and embarrassing when I have to walk around the place knowing that I interviewed for and got denied a job that I in effect am already doing for less pay and no benefits.

On that note, it's time for a snack and some relaxation; I have to be up in 9 hours to go back to the job I just got home from. Eh.

More places I will never go

HEY GUYS! I really want to go here: The Movie Tavern at Mill Run. This used to be the awesome Cinemark Movies 12; I used to misbehave there as a wee lass of 11 or 12. By the time I was in high school all the cool kids were going to Easton and the Lennox, so Movies 12 kind of fell by the wayside. Business had picked back up again with the pre-drivers' license set in recent years, but apparently it got sold and turned into this place where you eat your dinner while you watch the movie. I know it seems like it might not be the best idea, and I wouldn't want to go there all the time, but I would really like to at least try it. Any takers? I was thinking it would be a good place to see an Ocean's 13 type movie; something not too serious that doesn't require your constant attention.

Here are some other places I want to go this summer:
New India Restaurant on Bethel (lunch buffet!)
Hooters
United Skates of America
Bowling (wherever)
Magic Mountain
The Book Loft
Karaoke (wherever)

So, seriously, let me know if any of these places interest you and we will try to plan something. I am like oh-for-a-billion so far on my big summer plans. I am not good at arranging things, but I have big ideas! Haha. Not really.

Lolz 'n' linkz

Last week I was on Slate, with the sole intention of reading Dear Prudence--I've lately developed a seriously unstable obsession with reading advice columns, blogs, and forums. Please feel free to make suggestions as to what that says about my psyche. Uh, anyway. I happened to see this column called "You cannot resist lolcats," and, seeing as how I in fact cannot resist said lolcats, I clicked on it.

The slide show isn't super informative, but it does have some interesting tidbits. For example, I was surprised and strangely excited to see people writing about lolcat grammar. I also discovered the hilarious saga of the lolrus--read it from the bottom up if you're not familiar with the story. And finally, because somebody out there loves me, I discovered that there is such a thing as the lolbrarian: post some fucking catalogers! God, how I love that. What tiny portion of the population loves lolcats and also gets librarian jokes? Not enough, I say.

One other link that I wanted to post (hopefully I didn't already do this) is to this page, where you can view a list of Texas death row inmates' last meal requests, going as far back as the 80s. I don't know why, but I could read that for hours. I find it incredibly fascinating. You probably don't, but that's why this is my blog and not yours.

I'm buggin out! I'M BUGGIN OUT!

I have entomophobia: fear of insects. Please don't try to reasonably explain to me why I shouldn't be afraid of bugs; it's a phobia. It's a natural psychological response to piss down your leg at the sight of a little bug, okay? The main object of my phobia these days is the common house centipede, or, as I like to call it, "satanpede." What you may not know about the satanpede is that it can run at speeds up to 90 mph, smells fear, and carries a tiny switchblade in each one of its many hands. Also: can read your thoughts, and eats babies. Those may seem like hilarious jokes to you, but if you read that article I linked to you'll find the following information:

"[Satanpedes] capture prey by half pouncing and half lassoing them. They can capture several prey items at one time. They feed on one specimen while holding the others with their quivering, lashing appendages."

SEE?! Tiny lassoes! These fuckers mean business. The worst thing is that the only solution I've found to getting rid of them (besides calling an exterminator, which, like, I'm poor) is to put down glue traps along the baseboards, where they like to run. Because, if you're terrified of something, the best way to deal with it is to be forced to stare at its lifeless, decaying carcass stuck to a puddle of glue for a week. Jesus. I can't fucking win.

I do have to say: the capper to this whole entry is that I noticed on the Wikipedia entry for "-phob," under "psychological conditions," claustrophobia is listed as "fear of Santa Claus." That is so rad. I know I should be all, "that is an inappropriate use of this resource," but whatever, it's so funny.